


And So the Prophet Spoke: Be Gay, Do Crime

by joker0705



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Chatting & Messaging, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, NCT Dream Ensemble Are Best Friends, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, No Romance, Texting, but this fic doesnt actually take place in school, i listened to it like 16 times in a row while writing this can you tell?, i tease at markhyuck tho bc im Like That, its slightly homoerotic but no official relationships, this is basically just the go mv tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joker0705/pseuds/joker0705
Summary: Renjun opens Jeno's fridge, surveying the treasure. “This kinda feels like a heist. Can we put the mob sunglasses on now?”“...Fuck. Forgot ‘em. All I have are these-” he produces a pair of lensless, round wire-frames.“Why the hell do you have those? You don’t even need glasses.”“I keep them on me for emergencies.”Only giving him a doubtful look, he starts handing him items from the fridge to put into the rucksack.“Look, Jun, I’m gay and they make me feel cool. Leave me alone.”
Relationships: NCT Dream Ensemble/NCT Dream Ensemble
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	And So the Prophet Spoke: Be Gay, Do Crime

**Author's Note:**

> hey all! i came up w the idea for this in english when i was supposed to be writing a review or smth. but basically this is just the go mv (which fuckin SLAPS btw, might just be my fav nct mv) but as an AU. idk dream best friends and That Is All.

Friday 25th September, 2024

11:43 PM

**3 are online.**

nana: jen my darling

nana: where tf ARE you

jeno: in bed?? why

junnie: weve been yelling outside ur house for like 10 minutes?

jeno: i am Trying to sleep, fools

junnie: doubt

nana: lies we’ve heard you repeat flamingo by kero kero bonito at least 3 times

jeno: fdsghgjk

jeno: it slaps ok

nana: open your goddamn window

**0 are online.**

Sighing, Jeno does as he’s told and pokes his head out of the window. Summer has long gone, the leaves of the trees turning dark browns and golds. The slightly-too-cold autumn breeze hits his face and he winces slightly, fully expecting to have a nice, warm night in.

“Heeeeey!” a loud voice, Jaemin’s, calls out. He’s standing in his front garden next to Renjun, waving his arms about like a madman. Offering a smile at them both, Jeno replies, “Give me like 5 minutes, guys. I’ll be down. We getting the others too?”

“Yup! Are your parents in?”

“No, why?”

Jaemin and Renjun turn to face each other and smile knowingly, mischief apparent on their faces. The pair run up to the front door of the house and lift up the doormat - it’s where Jeno usually keeps the spare key.

They all spend a lot of time at Jeno’s since his parents are away the most, so much that it wouldn’t be a bad idea for them all to get a key cut. However, Jeno refused the idea when Jaemin suggested it. “If we get you lot keys cut,” he had reasoned, “the fridge would constantly be empty. And why aren’t you asking Chenle?” Even though his parents are home a lot more than Jeno’s, they actually like his friends, and his house is big enough that it doesn’t matter anyway. 

To their dismay, they don’t find the key. Watching them, Jeno says, “I’m not gonna tell you. This is what you get for waking me up.” The two start frantically rummaging around his front porch, while Jeno smiles at the chaos.

“You weren’t even asleep,” Jaemin pouts.

“Jen, I swear to god I will climb through that window if you don’t tell us where it is.”

Taunting them back, he says, “Maybe I’ve decided that I wanna do something productive with my life, no?”

Loud laughs ring out as Jaemin and Renjun double over, cackling like witches.

“Oh come on!” the oldest of the trio chortles, “You? Productive?”

“I’m literally the least chaotic out of our friends, what’s your problem?”

Jaemin’s eyebrows raise in disbelief. “My guy, in Maths yesterday I watched you play Candy Crush for two hours straight. You’re on like, level four-thousand.”

“And? You two and Hyuck go to weekly acupuncture classes, Chenle sometimes messages using 17th-century Old English, and both Mark and Jisung are walking disasters.”

“Fair point. Now let us in.” Renjun says while standing on the railing of Jeno’s porch, very clearly threatening to climb up into the house.

“Okay, okay. Under the flower pot.”

Not 5 seconds after the words were spoken, the door slams open and Renjun and Jaemin enter their (practically second) home. “Wear something dark!” the latter shouts, ambling his way to the kitchen with a grin. Shrugging his backpack off his shoulders, Jaemin slings it onto the kitchen counter and unzips it.

Renjun opens the fridge, surveying the treasure. “This kinda feels like a heist. Can we put the mob sunglasses on now?”

“...Fuck. Forgot ‘em. All I have are these-” he produces a pair of lensless, round wire-frames.

“Why the hell do you have those? You don’t even need glasses.”

“I keep them on me for emergencies.”

Only giving him a doubtful look, he starts handing him items from the fridge to put into the rucksack.

“Look, Jun, I’m gay and they make me feel cool. Leave me alone.”

“You think the pink hair doesn’t give that away already? It’s not like you need to go any further to display your queerness.”

They’re interrupted by Jeno walking into the kitchen, catching Jaemin with an armful of _his_ delicious food. Exasperated, and more than used to their cheeky antics, he only sighs and opens another cupboard, choosing a few bottles of soda to take with them. Both of the thieves giggle at their success.

“We’re literally about to go over to Chenle’s, couldn’t you have raided his fridge? His parents are like, actually rich as well.”

“Nope!” the oldest boy doesn’t care to explain, merely prodding Jeno’s nose, to which he receives a glare.

Still shoveling snacks into his bag, Jaemin says, “Jun, make yourself useful and send a message to the chat, will you? Make sure the kids are up.”

Renjun scoffs. “You’re literally only two years older than Jisung and Chenle, you don’t need to baby them like that.”

“Just because their _father-_ ” he gives a pointed look to Jeno, “-abandoned them? I will always be their mother, thank you.”

“Your weird mom complex never fails to make me feel uncomfy.”

Saturday 26th September, 2024

12:07 AM

**7 are online.**

junnie: kids

chenle: Hullo.

sungie: yo

junnie: we’ll be at yours in like, 10 minutes. be ready!

mark: w h y

mark: its midnight what are you up to

hyuck: its ok mark theyre probably just making flower crowns or smth

chenle: We shalt beest getting frazzled, mine own ladybug.

junnie: translation?

jisung: uhh drinking??

mark: N O

nana: NOT ON MY WATCH

jeno: you two are like, five. no.

jisung: Big Sad

junnie: acTUally since youre all up and we dont have to physically eject you from your beds

junnie: meet us in the mall car park? bring your bikes

junnie: and hyuck, the Art Supplies

hyuck: OMG THE ART SUPPLIES FUCK YEAH

mark: ..?

hyuck: dw about it sweetie it’ll be fun

chenle: doubt

jisung: doubt

mark: doubt

nana: dont care losers, just join us

**0 are online.**

Surprisingly, they didn’t have to prise anyone from their beds, as when Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun approach the car park, they find the rest of the group already there. Donghyuck is bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement, chatting to Mark, who’s sitting on the seat of his bike, wrists laying over the handlebars. They came together it seems, from the lack of Hyuck’s bike and the stunt pegs on Mark’s rear wheel. Chenle and Jisung are pulling tricks on their own BMXes, one-upping the other with flashy stunts. It’s bound to go wrong, but eventually they all join in with the competition.

Water droplets sit in the grooves of the asphalt, reflected in the harsh light of the streetlamps. It’s a damp and dark night, but they’re wrapped up warm in hoodies and jackets so it doesn’t stop their fun. Their bikes are muddy, as any teenage boy’s might be, but not rusty from a lack of use. Currently betting over who can pull the longest wheelie, counting in car spaces, loud squawks and cackles emanate into the once-quiet air.

Chenle falls off twice from laughing too hard, the first time when Jeno accidentally rides down a set of stairs. Needless to say, it didn’t end well. The second time is when Jisung manages to dent one of the dull grey barriers around the perimeter of the car park. The older boys, Mark and Donghyuck, ever the showmen, start working on two-man stunts. It goes fine until Hyuck gets a rainbow-coloured sneaker lace trapped within the spokes of Mark’s bike, causing a domino effect of boys falling over. They all end up on the floor, breathlessly laughing at the chaos.

Their dreams of being professional stuntmen somewhat dashed thanks to that escapade, they decide to go somewhere else. After all, it’s the weekend, so they don’t have school in the morning. Their parents’ reactions to their outing are far from their minds too.

Riding a few miles along the riverbank, neon flashlights attached to their handlebars, they come across a small structure near a metal bridge. Cars whizz past every now and again, but it’s nothing to worry about. The building is an old house of sorts, red brick untarnished despite its age. Carelessly abandoning their bikes, they drop them on top of each other in the dewy grass nearby. They take their backpacks with them, but their jackets are either put onto the pile or tied around their waists - they’re a lot warmer thanks to the physical exertion.

“Race?” Mark asks to no-one in particular. On instinct at hearing the word, the boys start sprinting towards the old house. Instantly, Chenle and Jisung try to tackle each other, both falling on the ground, effectively out of the race. Of course Jeno gets there first, being as athletic as he is, but Jaemin isn’t far behind. As they all reach the cottage, they get their breaths back and sit cross-legged around the bare wall.

“Mark Lee, what happened to being in track and field club with me?” taunts a triumphant Jeno.

“C’mon, Hyuck was on the back of my bike, I cycled us both all the way here. My legs are tired, Jen!”

The group snickers, clearly not believing his excuse.

Pulling a fake offended expression, Donghyuck retorts, “Are you implying I’m heavy?”

Panicking for a second, he reassures him, “No?” but Mark then catches the sparkle in his eyes and his lips curl into a relieved smile, knowing he’s joking.

“Can’t believe Mark Lee just called me fat,” he says, teasing the poor boy.

“I did not call you fat!”

Ever the comedian, Hyuck turns away from him and lets out trembling sobs, which makes the boys double over in hilarity.

“Are you okay after that, honey?” Renjun rubs the dramatic boy’s shoulders, playing along. Shaking his head in disdain, he says, “That was rough.”

“I’ll lose weight if that’s what it takes for you to like me, Mark!”

Mark sends him an amused glare and lightly slaps his knee. “Dumbass.”

Remembering the backpacks, Jaemin starts unpacking his goods first - the food he and Renjun stole - and throws packets of crisps to each of the group. Soda is also passed around, courtesy of Jeno.

“Damn, y’all could have told me we were bringing food, I would have brought some.” Chenle says through a mouthful of food, arm currently halfway down a tube of Pringles.

“Trust me, we have enough.” Jaemin smiles sweetly at Jeno, who only fondly sighs at him, trying to keep a straight face.

The oldest boy of the group starts rummaging around in Hyuck’s backpack and produces a bluetooth speaker, to which he connects his phone.

“Don’t play it too loud,” Jisung says, slightly concerned.

“I’m not gonna like, blast heavy metal, Sungie. Unlike Renjun, I have taste.”

“You leave me and my emotional support Slipknot alone, Lee.”

Jaemin slyly intercepts, “On the topic of poor music choices, I think this would be a great time to bring up Mark’s emo phase.”

“No,” he cringes. “No it would not.”

“I remember that!” Hyuck shouts, clearly possessing information the group _needs_ to know. “It was-” Suddenly, he finds himself being silenced by Mark’s hand, which he playfully licks.

“Ew.” Removing his hand and swiftly moving on, he returns to rifling through the rucksack.

“Okay, we’re just glossing over that?” Jisung asks.

“I thought I’d just put that information out there,” Jaemin snickers. “If you look hard enough, you can find pictures in the 2021 yearbook.”

“Chenle?” “Jisung?” They both say at the same time. Nodding to each other, they’ve already started planning what they’ll be doing upon their return to school on Monday.

“Anyway, Hyuck, wanna get started?” Renjun says, pulling various spray paint cans from his own bag.

Donghyuck’s face erupts in glee as he catches one thrown to him. A loud clanking noise resonates into the night air as he shakes the can, more out of habit than necessity. The white face masks both Donghyuck and Renjun don, giving each other cheeky grins, are slightly dirtied from use, but they still work fine to block out the fumes of spray paint. Wordlessly, they pick out what colours to use from the two bags, in harmony with each other. Soon, they begin to create their mural on the old brick wall. Splashes of neon green give way to bright pinks and purples, bringing a new life to the shack. Neither speaking a word, the artistic duo step back to reveal their handiwork to the rest of the group, who’ve been chatting amongst themselves the whole time. The wall reads ‘Change Your Ways’ in colourful bubble writing.

Mark nods, “Amazing as always, you two.”

“Looks fantastic!” Chenle hops up to take a closer look. More sounds of approval come from the rest of their friends, clearly impressed.

The duo share a hi-five, looking rather bashful at the praise. Renjun turns around to view their masterpiece, scratching the back of his head. “Hey, Hyuck?”

“More green on the left?”

Nodding, he says, “Exactly what I was thinking.” Picking up one of the cans strewn about on the grass nearby, Renjun adds a few more green touches where there’s a highlight.

“Oh, much better. Keep-”

He’s interrupted by a bright flash of light coming from near the bridge. It moves around, like a flashlight, surveying the group.

“Hands in the air!” shouts a voice, far away.

The light is almost blinding, but Renjun gathers pretty quickly that it’s a cop.

“Fuck. Move!” he shouts to the others. The spray can slips from his hand, no time to think about gathering them all up now. Adrenaline pumping, they scramble to where they abandoned the bikes, acting on pure instinct to get out of there. Jeno swipes up the bluetooth speaker and the backpacks, leaving him a little behind. Almost tripping over with how fast they’re running, they manage to get to the pile of bikes and pick one up each, not caring whose is whose.

Mark points in a direction and yells, “Through the alleys!” and they start pedaling away on each other’s BMXes.

Jisung, realising he picked up Mark’s bike with the stunt pegs, has to stay back for Jeno to get on. “Hurry,” he calls out to the boy running towards him at full tilt. The flashlights follow them, probably able to see at least the two boys’ faces now that they’d stopped. Damn. Luckily, Jeno manages to haul himself onto the back of the bike quickly, using Jisung’s shoulders as leverage.

“Fucking go!” he shouts, and Jisung speeds away into the alleys, having lost sight of the rest of the group. Thinking fast, he turns the light attached to the handlebars off, able to see just enough to get them somewhere safe. In the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of the tail end of a bike he recognises: it’s Chenle’s! Pedaling as fast as he can with Jeno on the back, heart going even faster, he takes the sharp right corner and sees two of his friends waiting anxiously.

“You two good?” hastily asks Donghyuck. They both nod, barely even registering it.

“Jaemin, Mark and Injun went that way,” pants Chenle, pointing to a fork in the road. “We take the other route, meet back up with them.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, they cycle away into the dark alleyways of the city. Eventually, they happen upon an old park, in which they decide to stay until they reconvene with the remaining three. Figuring they’re safe, their adrenaline rushes fizzle out, leading the group into bouts of shaky laughter over what had just happened.

“And then, then Jeno just grabs all our stuff and starts fucking _sprinting-_ ” Jisung takes a minute to wipe his eyes, almost crying from the hilarity. “-at me, like, faster than I’ve ever seen _anyone_ run. I thought I was gonna die.”

“You looked like it, too,” laughs Jeno. “I would have just knocked us both over, that’s all.’”

“And we would have both promptly died, your point?”

Hyuck slaps the handlebars of his bike in mirth. “Jeno looks like an ostrich when he runs, what’s so intimidating about that?”

“I can just imagine it!” Chenle screeches, in hysterics at the mental picture.

“No, no, you take _one_ look at Mister Ostrich-Coming-To-Peck-Your-Eyes-Out-At-Top-Speed and tell me that’s not scary!”

Interrupting their conversation, each of their pockets buzz with a message from their group chat, and they instantly pull out their phones to read it.

Saturday 26th September, 2024

2:56AM

**7 are online.**

junnie: well that was wild

nana: where are you guys??

jisung: jail

mark: WHAT

chenle: b4 you have a stroke he is Joking

hyuck: jisung ur dumb

nana:

nana: child do not worry me like that,,,

jeno: calm down we have your gremlin boy

chenle: our location **[image attached]**

mark: WAIT SO EVERYONE’S OK??

hyuck: yes mark

mark: GOOD.

chenle: damn he really was worried, he brought out the punctuation

jisung: meet up w us, yeah?

junnie: on our way :)

**0 are online.**

It only takes five minutes for Renjun, Jaemin and Mark to find them at the park. Looking particularly relieved, Jaemin makes sure to ask everyone if they’re okay (especially Jisung, cradling his awkwardly tall frame against his chest). They swap the bikes back to their original owners, and decide to head out once more, not particularly wanting to end their outing on a bad note.

Heading away from the city, the sky beginning to lighten ever so slightly, they ride to an old train station. It’s been abandoned for as long as any of them have been alive, but Jaemin is sure he’d heard his mother talking about it at one point. Even so, the trains are weathered and long out of use, meaning there won’t be anyone there.

The station is open and desolate, debris scattered from where walls have crumbled over time. The trains themselves are rusted, mirrors and doors hanging off them. The only sounds heard are the old hinges and bolts, creaking in the slight breeze.

Getting off their bikes, the boys lay them down on the tracks (in the same, unorganised pile - they never learn). Jeno starts to climb up one of the rusty trains, nodding to his friends to follow him. He kicks one of the dirty windows in to use as a foothold with a loud smash, and hoists himself up to the top. Holding out a hand, he hauls the rest of them up to join him on the roof of the train.

Although the moon has reached its peak and day will come soon, it’s a little cold in the open air, out of the way of the shelter of the city buildings. They huddle together to warm up, either sitting cross-legged or lying down.

A little randomly, Jeno points to the overhead power lines and asks his friends, “Do you think it’d hurt if I touched them?”

“Uh, yes?” Jaemin says, eyebrows creased in concern. “Why?”

“Monkey brain says swing on rope,” he says with a shrug.

“Jeno, honey-”

Chenle interrupts, “No, wait. This place definitely doesn’t have power. I don’t see why it would hurt you.”

“Even if it does have power, they’ve got like, what, 25,000 volts in ‘em?” Renjun says thoughtfully. “So either you touch them and you’re fine, or you’re instantly electrocuted to death. Either way, no pain.”

Somewhat worried at the fact that he knows that off the top of his head, Mark says, “Renjun, do _not_ encourage him-”

“Fuck it, I’ll just do it.” Jisung says nonchalantly, shifting to stand up.

Donghyuck, sitting next to him, immediately says “Nope,” and wraps his arms around him, effectively trapping him. The youngest boy just makes a disgruntled squawk, uncomfortable with the physical contact. “Nobody is touching the goddamn power lines. I want you all to stay alive, thank you.”

“One of these days, Hyuck? I’ll kill you.”

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetie.” He rests his forehead on the boy’s shoulder and ruffles his hair, making his face scrunch up in disgust.

Muttering under his breath, Jisung says, “Can’t wait until we all become adults and I get to beat you up.”

Jaemin chimes in, “You on about Rooftop Fight?”

“Damn right he is.”

A lot of people might think their ideas weird or childish, but they couldn’t care less. Even if the world doesn’t get them, they know that their friends do. And all that's said right is now is between the seven boys and the sunrise, no-one to judge nor mock.

“I have predictions on who wins,” Mark says, squeezing the sides of his temples like he’s prophesying. “Jisung dies first.”

“Wh-why me?”

“Too tall, probably trips over his own shoelace and breaks a leg.”

Chenle snickers, “That’s fair,” to which he receives a light kick from Jisung.

“Chenle next-”

“Oh, c’mon.”

“-too busy laughing at Sungie falling over and he himself falls off the roof. Jaemin is next. Athletic, but lacks drive. He’d secretly want Jeno to win, so he’d willingly let someone beat him up.”

“Not Jeno, though. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them fight,” Renjun says.

The two in question tilt their heads in thought for a second, but Jaemin shakes his head, confirming his theory.

“As much as it pains me to say it, I’d be next to die. Hyuck would kill me, straight up.”

“True!”

“Hyuck! You’re supposed to say, ‘Oh, I could never do such a thing,’ y’know?”

Donghyuck shrugs, “I’d be sad about it afterwards, if that’s any consolation.” He removes his arms from around Jisung - who breathes a sigh of relief - and clings onto Mark instead, an attempt at comforting him after his admission of murder.

“Anyway, here’s where it’d get interesting: Hyuck and Renjun, knowing Jeno is physically stronger than them on their own, form an alliance. They take him down through teamwork.”

The two in question reach for a high five, clearly liking the idea.

“Now, the big one." He starts gesticulating to emphasise the importance of his speculations, and the group leans in, listening with rapt attention. "Jun may be tiny, but he is full of rage. Hyuck, however, is strong and smart. What happens is: Hyuck tries to come up with an intricate plan to trick Injun, but forgets to actually keep an eye on him and gets strangled to death. An embarrassing end, but Rooftop Fight definitely isn’t going to keep our prides intact.”

Renjun nods along. “Thank you Mark, for your wonderful predictions. I, for one, wholeheartedly agree.” Donghyuck only glares amusedly at him, making an ‘I’ve-got-my-eyes-on-you’ gesture.

“We’re not really going to kill each other though, are we? Just... Maim,” Jaemin says.

“Oh no, I don’t actually wanna see any of you die,” Jeno laughs.

Chenle makes air quotes with his hands, “ _Kill_ ,” suggesting a more figurative meaning to the word.

“Like, bruises at most. Not so rough that we’d have to visit the hospital,” says Jaemin, stretching himself out after listening to Mark so intently.

“God, could you imagine that?” giggles Jisung. “Seven boys in drenched suits just show up to the hospital, covered in blood.”

Donghyuck acts out the situation, sending the group into fits of laughter, “‘Oh please help us Doc, instead of drinking like normal people do, us idiots decided to celebrate our adulthood with sparring and we accidentally almost died!’”

Their jesting eventually fizzles out, leaving them in a comfortable silence. From where they sit, they have a great view of the quiet city. The sky is getting lighter each minute they spend together - the autumn days becoming shorter - washing it in a brilliant pink. Soft clouds float above the horizon line, looking as if they were painted on a canvas with a brush. There’s nowhere they’d rather be.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Jeno softly says into the twilight.

Jaemin waggles his eyebrows suggestively, opening his mouth to make some flirtatious comment, but is interrupted by Renjun. “Don’t ruin the moment.” His mouth snaps shut.

“It really is nice up here,” Mark says pensively, looking out over the horizon. “And I’m glad I get to share another sunrise with you guys.”

Donghyuck scoffs at Mark’s sappy nature, but admits, “Y’know what? Y’all are cool.”

“Yeah. I kinda like you morons.” Chenle chuckles.

Clearing his throat, Jaemin looks at his friends sincerely and says, “You’re all dumbasses, but you’re _my_ dumbasses. And I wouldn’t be half the person I am today without you lot. Think about it, we’ve known each other since we were just kids. I’ve grown up with you all. I wouldn’t want to share my life with anyone else.”

“...What he said.” Jisung wouldn’t have been able to word it like that, sometimes struggling to show his feelings, but he’s grateful Jaemin could - he feels exactly the same way.

“Fuck you Jaemin, with your goddamn love,” Donghyuck lightheartedly taunts.

The group giggles, more comfortable with gentle ribbing than full-blown compliments, but appreciating the sentiment nonetheless.

Jaemin stands up from his spot on the top of the train and slaps Donghyuck lightly on the back. “Love you too, Hyuck.”

“Well,” Jeno follows suit. “Do y’all wanna go back to mine? Parents won’t be back until Monday.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Only if I get the couch.”

“You always get the couch.”

“That’s because I’m older than you, kiddo.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading everyone!! i'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment if you liked it, they really make my day :) but anyways yeah i'm still not over go era, the whole mv makes me fucking cry with how goddamn aesthetic it is like hasdgjdjhgk committing crimes? I am SO onboard. anyway this was supposed to be like 2k but it became 4k real quick but its Fine


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